Personal Statement for Gradschool

Im looking for about 750 words. I will be applying to grad school for a MS in real estate development. The instructions are to explain your academic and career goals and how the school would be the right fit and what you would bring to the program.

I want to start the paper with anecdote of my real estate career. I then want to discuss my background. And then finish up with my academic goals, why the school is the right fit, what I would bring to the program.

Im going to attach my resume and some drafts of this personal statement for you to reference. I am looking for you to make improvements specifically on the anecdote- make it a better hook- more interesting. Also to set the theme for the paper. Then I need to backtrack and talk about my experience and a cohesive manner that transitions well and then tie it all together on my goals, why I would be a good fit and what I would bring to the table and why the school is the best option for me.